Ugh. This film is utterly terrible and is about as subtle and interesting as boiled ham… Without any of the nutritional value. A ridiculous propaganda piece that is obscenely heavy-handed, 13 Hours only achieves one goal in its 144 minute runtime: it answers the question, “Why do they hate us so much?” Here, here you go, this is why. Everybody is either a subhuman brown person or a bumbling white person except for our noble and perfect mercenary protagonists. The CIA, the State Department, and of course, let’s not forget the evil Libyans… in Libya. Here’s a direct quote from our mercenary protagonists that should summarize everything that’s wrong with the film, “They’re all bad guys until they’re not.” The irony of this statement is that it should probably apply to the speaker as much as anyone else. To give credit where credit is due, John Krasinski turns in a more subtle and unexpected performance given what he has to work with, but it’s inconceivable why he’d chose such a role. Michael Bay shows his usual mastery of action and explosions and I was surprised that I actually knew what was going on (And could hear the dialogue! Maybe regrettably.) for the entire film. For its technical merits, the film warrants a begrudging respect, otherwise it’s garbage. If you’re too lazy to read about everything that’s wrong with America, then go see this movie, it’ll explain. Otherwise, skip it. Actually, if you’re too lazy to read, you probably are everything that’s wrong with America and will likely enjoy the film. Have at.